A LIVING LEXICON ABOUT YOU
There are 19 names in this directory beginning with the letter S.
adj. Single, child-free. An untethered lifestyle choice, not to be confused with "childless." AKA self-serving bitches. See also Spinster mystique.
n. You've just strapped yourself in and you know you look good. Show us how much you like to be restrained.
v.i. The look every female has on her face when another one enters the room. (Ref: Brent St. James.)
n. Target's maternity wear designed with horizontal stripes to make expanding waistlines feel more remorseful by the day. (Ref: Rachel James.)
Shave your veins
v. The lengths you will go to in order to prepare for a romantic encounter that might involve intimacy. You are motivated to shave all the way down the leg, targeting those delicate bulging veins on your ankle. Afraid to put a blade to your veins, even for the sake of love? Try Pluck your veins.
aux. A vague invitation to indicate a maintenance of friendship, but with no intention of making concrete plans. Usually in the context of, "We should have drinks soon," or "We should hang out soon." If a plan is proposed and the vague party cannot commit, "We'll figure it out," may be used as a response. If that fails, simply canceling or flaking on the other person wraps the entire sequence up nicely.
n. A unique experience where you can stand in a hot shower while you drink a cold beer and pee at the same time. Perfect for the summer.
v. Your neighbor passively aggressively indicates to you that your shower has gone too long. Meanwhile, he is saving California from the drought by boiling his spaghetti in his own bath runoff.
n. The amount of sleep reserves you accrue in a 24-hour period. You don't want to blow your wad on a nap if you know you'll have trouble trying again at night.
Soft creepy crawl
n. You're invited to a party, but you feel alienated and resort to benignly moving objects around the host's house. For example, you take their laundry scoop and place it in the back of their freezer. The action is covert yet in full view. A low-scale version of the Manson Family creepy crawl.
n. The aura of mystery surrounding an unmarried woman or a woman whose occupation is spinning. Relates to the awe encompassing her framework of doctrines and beliefs.
v. Shaming the act of 'splaining down to other groups, i.e. mansplaining or whitesplaining.
n. You wear basically the same thing every day to avoid the mental exhaustion of making trivial decisions. Your signature uniform gives you tranquility and confidence. See also Decision fatigue.
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