Glossary

A LIVING LEXICON ABOUT YOU

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There are 19 names in this directory beginning with the letter S.
SCF
adj. Single, child-free. An untethered lifestyle choice, not to be confused with "childless." AKA self-serving bitches. See also Spinster mystique.

Scratching one out
v. Masturbation for guys with long fingernails.

Seatbelt selfie
n. You've just strapped yourself in and you know you look good. Show us how much you like to be restrained.

Selfie
n. A representation of self worth; or masturbation.

Serving shade
v.i. The look every female has on her face when another one enters the room. (Ref: Brent St. James.)

Shame stripes
n. Target's maternity wear designed with horizontal stripes to make expanding waistlines feel more remorseful by the day. (Ref: Rachel James.)

Shave your veins
v. The lengths you will go to in order to prepare for a romantic encounter that might involve intimacy. You are motivated to shave all the way down the leg, targeting those delicate bulging veins on your ankle. Afraid to put a blade to your veins, even for the sake of love? Try Pluck your veins.

Shooting off your bazoo
v. You talk too much.

Should-soon
aux. A vague invitation to indicate a maintenance of friendship, but with no intention of making concrete plans. Usually in the context of, "We should have drinks soon," or "We should hang out soon." If a plan is proposed and the vague party cannot commit, "We'll figure it out," may be used as a response. If that fails, simply canceling or flaking on the other person wraps the entire sequence up nicely.

Shower beer
n. A unique experience where you can stand in a hot shower while you drink a cold beer and pee at the same time. Perfect for the summer.

Shower shaming
v. Your neighbor passively aggressively indicates to you that your shower has gone too long. Meanwhile, he is saving California from the drought by boiling his spaghetti in his own bath runoff.

Sleep wad
n. The amount of sleep reserves you accrue in a 24-hour period. You don't want to blow your wad on a nap if you know you'll have trouble trying again at night.

Soft creepy crawl
n. You're invited to a party, but you feel alienated and resort to benignly moving objects around the host's house. For example, you take their laundry scoop and place it in the back of their freezer. The action is covert yet in full view. A low-scale version of the Manson Family creepy crawl.

Spinster mystique
n. The aura of mystery surrounding an unmarried woman or a woman whose occupation is spinning. Relates to the awe encompassing her framework of doctrines and beliefs.

Splain-shaming
v. Shaming the act of 'splaining down to other groups, i.e. mansplaining or whitesplaining.

Spondulicks
n. Money, money, money.

Spoon-doggle
v.i. Sneaking a spoonful of your sister's Maxaroni.

Stasis wardrobe
n. You wear basically the same thing every day to avoid the mental exhaustion of making trivial decisions. Your signature uniform gives you tranquility and confidence. See also Decision fatigue.

Subtle tits
n. You have to point them out, then people are like, "Oh, yeah." (Ref: Overheard from drunk lady in the park.)


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2 Responses to Glossary

  1. Teilor says:

    tonebout = lazy version of ‘talking bout’ which is a lazy version of saying ” I know what you’re talking about”. Coined by BOB of the Vegas Boys, a dirty group of hippies who broke down in Nevada City from Las Vegas. Mid 1990’s

    Another good one..”Heyssss (sp?) Another lazy word coined by the above. Short for “Hell Yes”! …I think. Do these apply?

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